I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
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