i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
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