I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
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