Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
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