so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
Randomize
