And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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