i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
Bring me that man meat
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Randomize