My nipple is on Facebook.
Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
Randomize
