i just made my gag reflex go away.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
40s are totally the cure
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
Randomize