DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
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