Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
