Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
Randomize