Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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