It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
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