He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
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