Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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