this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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