she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
Randomize
