PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
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