I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
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