So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Randomize
