i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
These 19 Teachers Had Very Inappropriate Interactions With Students
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
Women Confess 25 Instant Deal-Breakers On A Man’s Dating Profile
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.