Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
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