i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
These Dirty People Haven’t Told Their SO About Their Kinky Fetish
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
This is Why People Stop Sex Halfway Through
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"