there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
We have started to decorate penises.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
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