dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
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