i think i scared a bird with my dick
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
My vagina just recognized that song.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Randomize
