There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
Mike is offhisass drunk and just sat down next to my sister and said "If you gained 30 pounds and stopped reading poetry, I would be attracted to you. Now, your little sister, attractive, even though she's basically the same person as you- she just pulls it off better because she's 15."
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
I could fuck to npr.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Randomize
