Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
Boobs are out for the taking
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
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