Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
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