Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
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