i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
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