I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
Randomize
