no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Randomize
