I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
Randomize
