You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
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