sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
