The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
Two words: blizzard sex
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
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