Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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