I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Randomize
