Porn is love you can see.
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
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So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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