It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
Someone stole a lamp last night.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
Randomize
