You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
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