I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
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