I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
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