We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You dont lie about slip and slides
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
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