I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
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I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
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I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
Who put my cat in the fridge?
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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