Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
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