you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
Randomize
