Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
tell me about the fingering
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