i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
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