So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
