And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
Randomize
