Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
