JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
