just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
