Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize