I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
3 2 1 whiskey
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
