she smelled like a LAN party
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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