You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Randomize
