So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
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