Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
Randomize
