She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
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