By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
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