I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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